Editor’s note: I claim that the goal for DTAYS is to document my journey. However, I find that when I don’t have anything positive to say, I simply don’t write. This has led to a very optimistic and upbeat version of me that is portrayed on the site, and I feel that that might not be an accurate representation. The following rant is a glimpse inside my head during the not-so-positive moments.
Saturday night was very stressful. It marked the end of yet another 60+ hour week at my first job, and my weekly QG Fund update was still hanging over my head like a guillotine. I also had some client work that I needed to get to and I was expected to spend time with my mother on Sunday.
Adding to that stress was the fact that none of my current projects performed particularly well last week. The Baseball Fund got hammered all week and into the weekend, I hadn’t made an Amazon sale all weekend, and the QG Fund was coming off of a pretty poor week and still showing a net loss on the YEAR.
That means we are more than a week into MAY, the fifth month of a twelve month year, and not one of my three strategies is showing a profit. Is this really worth it?
On a logical level, I know that this is just one of the tough patches that everyone who is successful at anything has to go through. But on an emotional level, this shit is tough. It so frustrating to work all-the-fucking-time and have nothing to show for it. It’s exhausting. I’m exhausted. And I’m no further off than when I started.
Ok. Bitch session over. Now where do we go from here?
I’m not ready to throw in the towel on any of the three projects that I have been covering here. One option would be to simply stop blogging about my journey, but I’m not ready to give up on DTAYS either.
I might be interested in giving up my incredibly-demanding day job, but some of this shit needs to start making money in order for that to happen.
I certainly don’t want to give up my freelance writing, because that has been the only thing I’ve done that has been mildly profitable to this point. This is another good reason to keep DTAYS going, because many freelance clients are impressed by it.
So I have a bunch of promising ideas that make little to no money, and I have a very demanding job that takes care of the bills. Not much wiggle room there.
I used to get up between 8 and 9 and feel short on time. Now, I’ve been getting up at 6 and feeling even more pressed. So I’m not going to find anymore time in my schedule. This is a very tough place.
As far as I can tell, the only option for me is to continue to push forward, but try to do so in a more focused manner.
I’m still fairly confident that I just had a bad weekend, but I also know that the long hours are starting to catch up with me. I know that I can’t maintain this pace forever. Something has to give, and I’m not willing to give up and relegate myself to working a real job until I die.
When I decided to use the tag line “A Quest for Financial Independence” for this site, I was specifically talking about the stock market. But as the site and I have evolved over the past two years, it has come to mean more than that. Why do we trade stocks in the first place?
I just want to be able to earn enough to have a decent life without so much pressure all the damn time. Between all of the ideas that exist within the posts on this site, something has to work. I just have to find it in time.